Tuesday, July 29, 2008

YouTube Notes with a difference

My nephew Robert and his pal Chris got together to do a YouTube video of this Ebay spoof song, and posted it on YouTube. There's even some bloopers at the end. Rob's on the right. Good work.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

YouTube Notes

Video of a guy setting the Guiness World Record for most T-Shirts worn at one time - genius.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Office Dares

How to liven up a quiet day at the office (thanks to Ray for forwarding this to me):

1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry,I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While riding in an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
6. When in the lift with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "...in accordance with the prophecy."
8 dont use any punctuation
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout "email!"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole-punching your finger. Each time you do, shout "dagnamit, it's happened again!" Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
8. Call the I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, "she can abort it for all I care."
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14. While a colleague is writing, grab their pen and throw it out of the nearest open window.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Photo Notes

The wings of a lily
Originally uploaded by CláudiaM

This is a fab photo I came across on Flickr. Its called 'the wings of a lily'. I wish I had the eye (and, I suspect, the knowledge of Photoshop) to get a pic like this.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Astonomy Notes

If you’ve been paying attention over the past few years, you’ll have heard me mention how good I think the astronomy community outreach programme is at the University of Glamorgan.

Well, now it’s official. They’ve been awarded a prize for Public Engagement by the Astrobiology Society of Britain. Congratulations to the peerless Alan Trow and the rest of the team.

4th of July

Happy Independence Day, y'all.

Ava's Diary

Today was my second Friday at Little Inspirations Day Nursey.

I did some painting, played (and slept) in their sensory room, played with the baby gym and had lots of stories. The other kids are mostly older than me, but I'm very happy there.

I had broccoli for lunch, which is one meal of broccoli more than my dad.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Travel Notes II

Got done for ‘speeding’. 42mph in a 30mph zone.

As you can see from the picture (taken by a mobile speed camera van from around half a mile away) I was clearly a menace to all the other road users. Oh, there weren’t any. I was a danger to pedestrians. Oh, there weren’t any. It was a built up area. No houses, buildings, anything. Accident black spot? No. Dangerous bend? No. Poor road conditions? No. Poor visibility? No. It was dark? No. Raining? No.

What exactly is the point in this? Except to collect £60 and award 3 points. Cheers.

So that’s a career of two speeding fines (the old one has lapsed), and on both occasions there hasn’t been another car or pedestrian around. The police drivers manual Roadcraft says that ‘the choice of speed must be related to the driver’s ability, the type, condition and limitations of the vehicle and the prevailing road and traffic conditions’. Of course enforcing that would require actual policing skills as opposed to pointing a camera.

Rant over.

Travel Notes

On a train to London yesterday was a guy who had a ludicrous need to keep in touch. Spread out across the table were a laptop, a blackberry, a mobile phone and a pager.

Me, I had a copy of The Times and a cup of coffee.

Old Jokes' Home

A ventriloquist visiting Wales walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Welshman 'Hey, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, stupid'.
Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Doin' all right'.
Welshman: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
Dog: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play'.
Welshman: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Welshman: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either . . . I think'.
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Alright'
Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements'.
Welshman: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Welshman: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a liar.’