Handbags

All my arguments as to why soccer is crap were proved right on Sunday, when the Snarling Cup final was fought out between Arsenal and Chelski.

Chelski won 2-1, and after the winner it all kicked off. Niggling and lots of falling down like they’ve been shot is a permanent feature of soccer nowadays, but the sustained bout of handbags was a new low. Three red cards and two yellow cards were handed out.

And another thing. Why can’t they have proper timekeeping? Can someone please explain why in this day and age, the rolling clock has not been embraced, so that we all know exactly how long there is to go in a match? It took rugby union long enough to learn this from rugby league, but that's no excuse for football to be so far behind the times.

While we’re on a rant, how come players get to question the ref’s parentage, and worse, and yet seem to get away scot-free? And stand five yards away from a free kick? And pick the ball up after they’ve committed a foul and walk off with it?

And that’s what I learned from watching the last 10 minutes (or 22 if you include “time added on”). And that’s why I won’t be watching much more.