Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. This list of church bulletin bloopers, or a variation of it, has done the rounds on the interweb, but its still worthy of repeating here. Enjoy!
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours".